There is a verse in the Bible that talks about God being the potter and his creations being the clay. I always loved the analogy. I got the message that He was trying to mold us to be what we needed to be. It made me feel special because he molds me different then he molds other people. Each one of us is unique.
Then I became a potter. I had the opportunity to play with the clay, to make the clay do what I wanted it to do. Sometimes I got the clay to do what I wanted and sometimes I didn’t. The more I worked with the clay, the more I got the clay to act in a certain way. It took a lot of practice to get it to do what I wanted to do. But eventually the clay and I worked as one.
I have made a lot of kinds of pots. I have made mugs, bowls, platters, face masks, gargoyles, rattles, coaster, Incense burners, and pinch pots. Two of my more favorite things to make, though are native american vases including wedding vases and Face Jugs. The face jugs take a lot of practice. It requires layering of clay on clay. I don’t know how many times I have had parts of the face on the jug pop off during firing. It makes it hard to get a good pot. Over the course of time those pieces didn’t pop off nearly as frequently.
My Native American pots are often decorated with leather and feathers or rabbit fur. They look authentic because they are. I remember taking a class where some of my pots were being critiqued by another student. He stated he liked those pieces. When asked by the instructor why he liked them, the student stated it was because of the decorations. The point was that I had actually gone and bought the feathers and leather straps. I also had made the beads that I used to decorate the pots. All of this was done before I made the pot. In other words, I knew what I was going to do before I started making the pots. This was something the instructor had been trying to get his newer students to understand and they finally got it during the final exam. That was kind of sad.
It is ironic to me that when I want to put pen or pencil to paper and actually write, songs come to mind. Lately it has been the theme song to LOVE STORY. Where do I begin to tell the story of how great my life could be. Then there is nothing.
So what I have been thinking of doing is writing down inspiration sentences. The only thing that came up was a dream I had several years back. It was one of those dreams that seemed so real, as if it were happening all night long. I dreamed I was eating food from a particular restaurant that I loved. About 4 or 5 in the morning I woke up to go to the bathroom. Before I went back to bed, I made sure that I had not done what I believed I had. So I checked the trash can for the to go containers. There was nothing. I checked the refrigerator and there was no containers there either. I started to breathe a little easier when I had a horrible thought that I took the containers to the dumpster. I finally told myself that it was just a very vivid dream and to relax.
The reason this was such an alarming dream for me is that I had weight loss surgery revision about 10 days before. I was on liquids at that point and some how eating jalapeno poppers, fried mushrooms, mozzarella cheese, brownies and/or cheesecake all night was not a great thing to be doing. I was craving food so bad that it was invading my sleep world. How do I write about that with some interest? Do I described the senses – smell, taste, etc?
Okay, so what I will do is write one sentence that could begin a paragraph. One dream sentence to remind me what to write about. Then I can come back and write from there later. I do not have to do the whole thing perfectly, just one awesome sentence.
I completed a 12 week book called the Artist Way. It required daily morning pages. I spent a lot of time writing about what I wanted to write books on. I came up with at least three pretty solid topics. The great part of writing the morning pages is getting in the habit of writing every day. I bring this up because I had not written for the last four days. It almost drove me crazy. So I did my morning pages this morning. It did not make the day 100% better but it certainly was better than not writing at all.
Journaling, for me, is great. I can put down what is going on with me. I can put my problems down on paper and give them over to my higher power. I can dream, make commitments, explore ideas, gripe about people who are stressing me out. It puts my life in focus for me. Most importantly, it gives me the opportunity to clear my mind so I can write on my novels.
One suggestion I was given was to write a motivational sentence every day for my novel. If I can’t write anything else on my novel, write that one sentence. See, writing a novel is new for me. I don’t have an approved outline of exactly how to write MY novel. I can read a lot of books, and I do. I have looked at how they begin. I haven’t found that first intro so I figured that writing these sentences everyday will help me get started. Now comes the fun part. Writing those sentences.
I tend to procrastinate. This is not necessarily a good thing. I do, fortunately, have a goal. I plan on having a completed manuscript by the end of the year. It will not be perfect. I am expecting some editing. Okay, maybe a lot of editing. But At least I have a goal.
Write On my fellow writers, authors, songwriters.
About three or four months ago I began reading THE ARTIST WAY. I had bought the journal that went with it. It was suppose to take me 12 weeks yet, I had to take 13 weeks. I got overwhelmed one week and just could not get everything done that one week.
I had begun the book not realizing what it meant to be creative and spiritual at the same time. Over the course of time I began to talk more and more to God while journaling. I talked about my book ideas. I discussed how I wanted to do something that mattered. It was during this time that I realized which story I needed to tackle first. It was the book I had tried writing some 8 year ago.
I could not understand how I had forgotten about it. It was a topic that was close to my heart and I do mean literally. I had ended up in the hospital with Congested Heart Failure, COPD, and dieing. I weighted 479 pounds. Seventy-eight pounds later I had a weight loss surgery. The next 12 years proved to be a struggle. My weight fluctuated but my health improved drastically. I was no longer dieing. I had to learn to live with and except I was disabled. I had to realize that I was a precious child of God. My journaling over that 13 week process helped me realized how much healthier I was emotionally and physically.
So it was those weeks of writing and talking with God. Not only is creativity a spiritual journey but I also realized that I am a creative genius.
I had put off writing my first novel by nine days. That is not to say I wasn’t working on. I was doing a little something everyday. Well that is to say everyday except yesterday. Today I wrote the first paragraph. I don’t know whether I like it or if I’ll keep it. I certainly don’t know where to go from the first paragraph.
I have anticipated the moment of writing this book for literally eight years now. I have always had a dream of being a writer and here is my chance. I am fortunate that I have two other story ideas. It could be that I work on all three stories at once but that could be frustrating and lead to three very bad stories.
I guess I worry about fictionalizing a very true story. I am afraid I will accidently type the name of a real person instead of a fictional name. I am afraid that I will not fictionalize the story enough. Even worse then that, I am afraid the book will actually be good, it will be published, and it will be a success. I really could be a successful author.
So where do I go from here? I did start the novel in the first person. I am going to do a little bit of thinking tonight and will probably start writing the book in the third person. This may eliminate the accidental real person name getting out there. After all, I will be talking about fantasy people, people who only exist on paper. This could be totally awesome.
Thank you generous fellow bloggers and readers for listening to my silly struggles.